How Guilt destroys Love and Relationships

When the mind allows guilt to take over, it will tear down relationships, especially if the partner fails to come to terms and agreement with self. To determine if your mind is full of guilt you must ask your self-questions. What did you do so wrong that would offend your partner that cannot be forgiving?

Guilt can break the mind down to the point of no return. Guilt is more than a mistake made; rather it is a violation against rights, humanity, belief, tradition, standards, and love.

When a person fails in a relationship, they may feel a measure of guilt. Thus, confronting the problem now can remove the guilt and make the relationship work. When people confront their problems, it often leads to workable agreements. When procrastination, or else lying to cover the wrong continues the mind consumes itself with emotions based on guilt.

Guilt occurs when conscious actions or thoughts interfere with someone else’s rights, or else against the own person’s beliefs. Mistakes leading to guilt depend on the situation, but for the most part wrongs can lead to right if humanity exists.

If a person commits adultery, thus the problem is solvable if the person acted out of emotion, rather than thought and commits to restoring trust. Of course, actions, effort, behaviors and habits must show the mate that the mistake will never occur again. It depends on the mate but some will forgive, while others may take the insult of the partner letting them know their worth in the relationship to heart and may decide separation and/or divorce is the way out. Adultery is stating to the mate that you have no worth. If the mate decides to forgive, thus you must do your part and allow the guilt to turn into effort to restore trust. You will need consideration, loyalty, compassion, honesty, and may even need to tell your every move for a while during the course of restore. A person with true remorse will work hard, regardless of what he/she needs to do to restore trust.

If a person violates the right of the partner, thus, it depends on the magnitude of violation, but in most instances, it is workable. People act out of emotions and impulses at times, and will often act out of lust occasionally. When the emotions, impulses and desires take control (depending on the length of time control is enforced), the person may do things he or she ordinarily would not do.

Thus, adultery is a justifiable reason to divorce or separate from the spouse, but looking at the entirety of the circumstance can help a person decide. Was the spouse enticed by another individual to commit the act, while the spouse was feeling vulnerable? Still, vulnerability is no excuse on the spouse’s part, but if enticement is the case, then two people wronged you. Was the other person in the act deceived? Did your mate lead the person to believe that he/she was not in a commitment?

Examining the entirety of the act can help the mate determine the direction the relationship is heading, and help the other partner decide what he/she needs to do to make things right again.

Divorce is an attack on the emotions, since a trigger hits the heart and emotions and creates pain, sorrow, hurt, sadness, et cetera. Divorce is showing a disregard for the marriage arrangement unless true reasons for divorce are evident. Thus, divorce should only be considered if the mate commits adultery, abuses the partner, or fails to commit in the relationship arrangement, and/or if death occurs.

If you are in a relationship and your mate committed an insulting act against you, such as adultery. Thus, considering the entirety will help you make a wise decision. If another person enticed your mate on vulnerable grounds, thus consider your partner by asking what were, you thinking at the time. If your mate responds by saying I wasn’t thinking, thus you can ask, what makes me think it won’t happen again? If your mate is sincerely sorry, he/she will let you know by words, action, emotions, thoughts, and tone spoken.

Commitment in Love and Relationships

Be capable of committing one self is required, since love and relationship is built on commitment. Commitment is a promise. Commitment requires the ability to uphold promises made to another individual. The wedding vows at one time committed two in matrimony, thus committing them to love one another through thick and thin, better or worse, sickness and health, and until death ended their love.

When a person commits to another, they are targeting the person’s mentality and emotions when failure occurs, since commitment is a consignment to a disciplinary or mental institution. Thus, joining in marriage or relationships outside of marriage, or even in friendship, commitment is the element that initiates the arrangement.

Once the person’s fall together whether words are crossed, the parties are saying by their actions, “I commit myself to you.” Although friendships differ than marriages or intimate relationships, still a level of commitment exists. Marriages have obvious commitments; however, failures occur when one or the other fails to adhere to their promise to love until death does them apart. Often, disrespect of one or the other, lack of trust and communication will breakdown a relationship, or commitment.

Looking at examples could help you to see failure in different types of relationships and help you to appreciate the elements required to make a relationship work. One example of a surefire failing relationship is visual in the following illustration.

Two join in a relationship. The woman had a disturbing past, consisting of abuse, neglect and degradation. The man has a disturbing background; however, the severity of the woman’s past far succeeds the man. The two share emptiness inside when they meet, with one considering lust and desire while the other is considering love. The woman is beautiful in physical form, thus the man desires her and they join in intimacy. The woman is seeking love, however she finds the man unattractive, yet handy since she feels he can help her escape a nasty relationship in existence. Thus, together they join and later marry since a child is born. The woman disrespects the man since he is obviously an alcoholic, but she fails to see that he also sells and administers drugs. The woman is naïve to drug addicts and seller, thus she continues seeing the man on occasions until the baby is born and finally the two take of residence together.

Finally, marriage is required since the two join a religious group that enforces marriage rather than relationships outside of marriage. The woman thinks, “I will marry this monster,” as she rushes out of her workplace to join her mate in marriage. She stops at the liquor store to pick up a bottle of Vodka and rushes home to dress. The two are marrying at the Justice of Peace, and when she arrives, her mind is in a whirl. The night of their marriage the man is too drunk to join her in their honeymoon, thus she becomes angry and storms out of the room. For the next six months, she ponders on annulment, seeking out advice from her friends. The marriage continues. The woman comes to terms that she will do her up most to make the relationship work. Over time, she develops a natural love for her husband and works effortless to please him and make the relationship last with him abandoning the family and drinking every day. Over time, the woman finds that he is selling drugs, administering drugs and soliciting prostitution. She decides she had enough and applies for a divorce, even when doubt lingers in her mind.

The two finally divorce after the man abuses her for applying for a divorce and over time, the two never see each other again. Now, the man loved her. He loved the way she looked, how she performed in the bedroom and how her behaviors worked to make their marriage stand for more than three years. The woman illustrated patience and long-suffering, however commitment was lacking. Therefore, we see a lack of communication, commitment, long-suffering, respect, thrust, loyalty, faithfulness, and so on, thus the relationship was a surefire failure.