Down in Love and Up in Relationships

Over the course of the years, love has become a thing of the past, since nowadays people join in love while participating in ungodly acts. Love today is based on sex, rather than commitment. Few people are still searching for true love, only after they have slept with countless of people throughout their life, all to find that love never existed.

At what time a person is down on love they often search for relationships, scamming through the list to find that perfect mate. Nowadays, people are joining Love Connections, and other dating systems to find that true love. Few base their idea of true love on the compatible system provided by the services, yet fail to realize that a machine is determining the compatibility level. Thus, at what time the relationship starts the two join in phone conversation and email each other. Sometimes the relationship works, but as the communication continues between the two, one or the other decides this is not for me, especially when another listing comes on the site and the face is much prettier.

Few people join the Chat Rooms searching for love. Some people give up hope when they speak to thousands of people worldwide and never hear what they were waiting to hear. The goal in the chat rooms for the most part is to have sexual communication without meeting the person. Few people have literally met in person all to find them self in a chaotic situation, or else dangerous situation. To give you some insight on love and relationships abroad the Internet, I will narrate a couple of accounts.

One relationship over the Internet started out with coy communication. The couple chatted abroad the Internet for some time, until they reached the point of phone conversations. From here, the two communicated frequently over the phone and Internet lines; until the day came, they decided it was time to meet. The two met, and later married and after one year of the relationship, the woman filed for a divorce. Now the woman had children and was a professional in mental health, yet she failed to see the dangers abroad the Internet. It turned out the man was abusive and neglectful, thus filled her life at the moment of pain and despair.

Another incident of love and relationship over the Internet started when two people began chatting in the Group Chat Rooms. The two decided to talk over the phone and the man lead the woman to believe that he had the best of intentions while searching for love. He narrated the past relationships, briefing her, letting her know that he was hurt from the experiences. The woman wise, stood back, since she knew that stories have two-sides. She talked for months on the phone with the man and later decided to meet with him on her grounds. The two meet, and after one night of communication, relating, and sleep the woman become suspicious when the man began showing controlling behaviors. Thus, the woman sent him packing the next day and blocked him from calling, Aiming or emailing her. The man was blocked of all connections and the woman moved forward with cautious, still waiting for that special someone to love her.

The woman in the last illustration was intelligent to a large degree, since she recognized symptoms the man showed that would lead to abuse. Immediately the woman got rid of a problem that could have escalated to a broken heart and shattered world.

Scores of people abroad the Internet search for love and often the people make mistakes that lead them down on love and up on relationships. In other words, the person will view love as a sexual mechanism and forget its true meaning since hurt controls their mind from the bad relationships of the past. The people will search out the world for relationships searching for sexual gratification.

If you are down on love and up on relationships, then you know that the world is filled with hate, selfishness, inconsideration and the list continues, and rarely is true love available. Therefore, think long and hard before you join in love and relationship.

Controlling Love in Relationships

Why do people stay with mates that control and dominate them, thus taking a large measure of their freedom in relationships? The obvious answer is that the person lacks self-esteem and confidence and may feel that he or she cannot find love elsewhere. Children often link mates together even if one of the partners is controlling and dominating the other.

Are men mostly domineering and controlling? No. women can be domineering and controlling as well, and I have analyzed two case scenarios were the women in the relationship had full control. One case scenario a woman coming from a background of abuse met her soul mate through friends. The two joined and together they had six children combined. The woman who penalized them with threats if they failed to adhere to her demands controlled all the children and mate.

Although the relationship the man was not permitted to look at women at first, nor was, he allowed watching television programs at leisure. Sure, men in relationships, or else good men will not have wondering eyes, or else engage in activities that cause others harm, such as pornographic materials. Still, he had no room to show her that he had only the best intentions for their relationship. Later throughout the relationship, she showed leniency, but still the woman controlled the home.

Some women are passive yet still control in different methods. While the first woman enforced threats to control the home, another woman used mechanisms of human nature to control her relationships. She was a skilled manipulator and controller, whereas she under minded the men she had relationships. The woman was adulterous, manipulator and an outstanding liar if one was not smart to her tricks. Through lies and manipulation, the woman controlled the men she had relationships with, and when the men would not adhere to her demands she would throw temper tantrums, or else become violent.

The woman was a lousy mother, since she showed no regard to her children and used them to control the men she engaged in relationships with. Throughout her history, she had trials of promiscuous behaviors, violent behaviors, and a history of deceit.

While this is a couple of case scenarios of controlling and dominating relationships, men from afar have been in relationships showing controlling and domineering traits far more than women. Not all men are controlling and domineering, but the men that illustrate such behaviors are often violent predatory humans. The men that control or dominate will often use violence, threats, manipulation, lies, and other hasty mechanisms to control the mate. Often these types are unfaithful, and will make up all types of excuses for their unnatural behaviors.

Therefore, when joining in a relationship it is wise to know what you are getting into before you make commitments. Some relationships start out with one partner controlling the other through manipulation and the mate fails to see the signs and realizes what happens when a trail of harm starts and finishes in deeper conditions. Thus, the mate may start out telling the partner what she or he wants to hear to lower the person into the web of control, deceit, and domination. Other times the mate may act as though they are not interested in the mate, especially if the mate is attracted to the person.

Heed warning, since controlling and dominating relationships leave a string of victims throughout the term of the relationship, and sometimes the victim is unable to leave the relationship since the mate may threaten family members, friends, or else the mate. Other times the mate never gets out, since death was the ultimate result of the controlling and dominating relationship.

If a man or woman is controlling you, it is unlikely the person will change. Some people stay in dominating and controlling relationships believing the person will change once the mate shows them love. Other dominating and controlling relationships continue since the partner makes the mate feel like no one else wants them. They often under mind and belittle the partner, until the self-esteem and confidence is zip. If you are in a controlling and dominating relationship, you may want to consider steps of leaving your partner behind.

Why Women Lie

Regardless of the fact that nobody enjoys being lied to, it seems that lying within all types of relationships is common and is thereby often forgiven or overlooked. While it’s true that most of us are guilty of a little white lie now and again, relationships that are plagued with frequent lies can easily become hurtful and destructive.

Women often tell horror stories about how they’ve been lied to in past relationships, but the truth is that women are as guilty of lying as men, although perhaps for different reasons. And sometimes their lies are more personal and hurtful. Chris Rock hit the nail on the head when he declared that “men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies.” In any case, defining a lie and deciding how it should be dealt with often depends on what the basis for the lie is.

While some lies have obvious causes and can therefore be dealt with in a straightforward way, other lies have much more elusive justifications that can make it difficult to know how to respond.

Although there can sometimes seem to be a legitimate reason for lying, it is nonetheless an unhealthy and damaging habit. For this reason, it’s a good idea to reevaluate any relationship in which there’s been dishonesty. Read on for some of the most common reasons women feel the need to lie to you, and what you should do to get around it.

She wants to spare your feelings

If there’s something about you that she doesn’t like, she may think that it’s preferable to keep you in the dark about it. Although this is a lie spoken with a generous heart, if she never tells you the things that bother her, she might start to resent you, which could spell the end of the relationship.

What you should do: Assess what the intention behind the lie was and how it reflects on her personality. Is she so insecure that she couldn’t come to you with the problem? Or is she just waiting for the right time to blow you off? If the lie is serious and affects the foundation of your relationship, then it’s time to cut the ties. If, however, it’s a minor problem in an otherwise solid structure, face the situation head-on and make it clear that lying is not an option in the future.

She wants to make herself look good

This type of lie is often told because it makes her seem more glamorous or successful. Although this might seem like a harmless attempt to make people like her, it can be a sign of a more devious personality.

What you should do: If she lied to you to try to impress you, you might feel flattered. On the other hand, this is a deliberate and mischievous lie that could denote an underhanded person. Be aware that she might tell lies about you to make you seem more glamorous to outsiders. Also, ask yourself what she might do to get ahead, and whether she’d leave you at the drop of a hat for somebody who is higher on the social ladder.

She’s trying to hide her past

Akin to the previoustype of lie, this one is an attempt to wipe the slate clean, to start fresh with a new man. It could be because she’s ashamed of her past, but it could also be because she wants to forget it. This is often a lie to protect a sexual history that she thinks you’ll judge her for.

What you should do: A lie like this can be dangerous; if she’s lying about whom she’s been with, there’s a reason why, so be sure you know what you’re getting into. If she does come clean about her past , however, make sure that you’re sensitive in your reaction. After all, the fear of a negative reaction is exactly why she lied.

She’s protecting herself

If she’s trying to keep her distance from you, she might be afraid of making herself vulnerable. She probably believes that if you don’t know her dirty secrets and intimate details, it’ll be easier for her to walk away from you without getting hurt. This is a popular defense mechanism, but it can be very hard to relate to a person who’s caged herself off from you.

What you should do: If you think she’s worth the trouble, do your best to make her feel more comfortable so that she can open up. If she doesn’t crack after a while, however, furthering the relationship will be next to impossible and probably not worth your time.

She doesn’t want you to worry

If you’re concerned about that male coworker she’s been spending so much time with, she might lie about the time they spend together. This doesn’t mean that there’s anything going on; she’s just doing what she wants without having you fret about it. Or if you worry about her when she jogs outside at night, she might do it anyway and just no tell you. These are relatively well-meaning lies, but they are still quite damaging. When you finally find out the truth, you’ll likely have trouble trusting her.

What you should do: Explain to her that lies are not the easy way out of tough situations. If she wants to do something and you’re stewing about it, maybe you need to trust her judgment a little more. On the other hand, if she’s just willing to white-lie her way around life, perhaps you should cut and run.

She doesn’t trust you

She may have information she considers sensitive and isn’t sure whether to tell you about it. If you don’t know each other well yet, this could be a legitimate lie to protect others’ interests. As such, it should be seen as a relatively loyal gesture toward those she’s protecting. However, if you’re well into your relationship and she’s still hiding all sorts of information from you, she might have major trust issues.

What you should do: Confront her about her lack of trust. Is it founded on past experiences of you blabbing or is she just being paranoid? Be sure she knows that you think lying is out of bounds and that a lack of trust is not a solid basis for a relationship.

She’s manipulative

Sometimes a liar justifies herself by saying that she only embellished the truth. Some people can win arguments and influence people just by emphasizing the right points -- without really lying. On the other hand, she may lie outright in order to control the way you think or feel. If she tells white lies to win arguments or to twist you around her finger, you should watch out, because manipulation is a powerful tool.

What you should do: Seriously? Run. If you’ve caught her in a manipulative lie, she’s already trying to play you. This can only get worse.

She’s testing you

If she’s unsure of your temperament or intentions, she might try to test the waters. She could tell you a false story about a past relationship to see how you react. She might tell you her best friend thinks you’re cute to see if your eye wanders. This type of testing is meant to catch the bad guys before they get too close.

What you should do: Although it may be a defensive action, it is a sign of trouble ahead, as it is indicative of immature behavior. Telling you lies is not the way to get to know you, and a woman who does this is unlikely to be any more stable once you get closer to her.

She wants to keep the upper hand

She might withhold information to maintain a sense power over you. For instance, if a mutual friend tells her something important, she may keep it from you so that she has the inside scoop. Or she might just keep things from you to keep you at a disadvantage; that way, she can pick and choose what to tell you and when.

What you should do: Unless you have underlying domination fantasies, this is probably a problem you should deal with promptly. She’s found a way to keep you under her thumb, and as long as you allow it, you’ll stay there. Anyone who tries this kind of trick likely has control issues and will continue to dominate you. If this sounds unattractive to you, get out while you can.

liar, liar, pants on fire

What you want to keep in mind about lies is that they are, by definition, dishonest. A woman who is keeping things from you or just making things up has hidden motives. Chances are that anything you try to build with a liar will collapse in the end. If you find out a woman has lied to you, try to get her to ‘fess up, and then you can decide whether it’s something you can get past or if it’s time to throw in the towel.